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Friday, October 23, 2015

A study of the habits of subphylum scriba esset



Hypothesis: The height of the pile of laundry is directly proportionate to how the writer is feeling about their craft today. The higher the pile, the higher the confidence and creative flow. The writer is receiving the necessary solitude to achieve writing sublimation. Writer is happy.

Observation: Today is a laundry day. Pile has gone from a scale model of Mt. Everest to a more negligible hill. A teenaged boy is on fall break accompanied by second teenaged boy. Writer seems... cranky.

Hypothesis: The amount of questionable carbohydrates consumed is also directly proportionate to said writer's confidence. The higher the amount consumed, the lower the productivity. Caffeination is critical to productivity in obverse amounts.

Observation: Two convenience store doughnuts have been entirely consumed without discernible gagging. Meanwhile, only one caffeine infusion has been observed with no other source in sight.

Hypothesis: The closer the writer gets to their "Sunday evening" (working weekend option makes Friday Sunday. I--err, I mean some writers-- live their lives backwards from everybody else. Monday is Friday and Friday is Sunday.) Uh, sorry. What was I saying? Sheesh. Never mind.

Observation: Day job dread begins to intrude on concentration and enthusiasm.

Hypothesis: Joy and despair can exist simultaneously within a writer's heart when hearing of multiple critique partners' successes, agent offers and sales on works with which they have been involved.

Observation: Smiles and does happy dance for friends. Sniffles. Pokes inbox with a stick to see if anything falls out.

Conclusion: While scriba esset appears to be a rather fragile subphylum of scriba prospere, their resilience is the stuff of legend. After they are done lying face-down on the bed surrounded by chocolate wrappers, kleenex and occasionally pizza boxes, they can invariably be found pecking away obsessively at the keyboard, scribbling with deranged intensity in spiral notebooks, and composing the latest in a very long list of submissions and queries. The continuation of the species scriba is assured as they continue to nurture and support their own.

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